I Walk In This World

What are the chances that my family will Actually not read this, lol?

Well, you’ll just be ruining a holiday gift if you do.  Nothing big, but if you’d rather not know a gift you’re getting, then Stay AWAY.

 

Sunday.

For those of you that are married or over the age of 28 or just generally lower on the fun-scale than say, a drunk 19-year-old sorority girl, I ask you this.  Can a rainy cold Sunday morning start out any better than…?

An everything bagel with whipped cream cheese.  Coffee in a cheap-but-cute holiday mug from Michaels.

and pretending to read but really digging for coupons reading the Sunday paper??

Answer = no way.  BEST way to start Sunday.  This beats 3 Advil, moaning with nausea, and grappling with faint blurry memories of a drunken 20-year-old Saturday night.

Any.Day.of.the.Week.

I wish someone coulda told me how awesome life would get once I hit 30.

I would have taken it a little easier on my liver early on.

Just sayin.

Hey.  A message for people of all faiths, no faith, whatever.  Peace on Earth kinda fits all perspectives.  Yes!

So.  I’m blogging on my laptop while watching the Eagles trounce the Giants (PA > NY).  And I hate this.  Nathan or Herb.  Add this to my Hate List, ok.  Blogging on a laptop with no mouse.

Hates.

This.

This goddam touch pad is for Young People or dwarves or elves or something.  Totally useless for normal sized humans.

 

Saturday!

Saturday started out kickass.  Hubby had to go out of town for something.  So Erin got the day ALL to HERSELF!

cartwheels…cartwheels….handsprings….splits…flips…!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven’t an alone day since I moved to PA, and holy shit was it awesome.

I bet you’re thinking I did Awesome Things and Klassy Things all.day.long.

You betchya.

Breakfast all to myself and the Saturday paper.

• scrambled eggwhites and faux sausage
• American cheese all melty
• whole grain toast
• as much coffee as I cold drink

After Breks, I did Awesome Things

• registered my car in PA
• went to the ATM
• drove to the farmer’s market to not make eye contact with the Amish be totally awesome
• came home to eat a spinach and goat cheese salad and my totally way awesome farmer’s market pretzel

• went to Michaels for Ball jars and holiday ribbon and other holiday stuff I didn’t need but had a 40% off coupon for
• went to the liquor store to buy HANDLES of vodka (I Am Awesome, like I said)
• made holiday gifts of total awesomeness

Here’s the part where my family should avert their eyes.

Erin spent her solo evening with her good friend Smirnoff and a bowl full of farmer’s market fruit.

Why, you ask?

To make fruit-infused vodka, of course.  Welcome to Erin’s homemade fruit-infused vodka!!!!!  This is a fun homemade gift for all those people in my life that love cocktails as much as I do!

It’s so easy it’s embarrassing not embarrassing.

1. buy cool fruit
2. buy middle grade vodka (at least double distilled)
3. buy Ball or Kerr jars with good lids at Michaels and brave the crazy bottle-blonde middle age central PA ladies who are so whoa crazy they are yelling “Fucking Jackasses” to the stack of Christmas baskets behind you because they can’t find the green plaid basket and don’t want to give Grandma AND Aunt June the same red plaid patterned basket because that would be Insane
4. go home and poor yourself a beer, big glass of petit syrah, or vodka cocktail
5. turn on Lady Gaga
6. slice all the fruit
7. fill the jars with the fruit
8. pour the vodka into the jars
9. oh yeah, before you get to this step, be sure you washed the jars
10. screw on the lids
11. refrigerate for a week
12. strain fruit
13. tie pretty Christmas ribbon around jars
14. give as kickass gifts to people you like

Here we have it…

 

 

VODKA.  FRUIT.

This MUST be healthy.

I won’t say what fruit combos I used in order to maintain SOME element of surprise for my naughty family that have ignored my earlier warnings and have Indeed read this part.

Naughty little duffers.

Nite.

Er

P.S.  It took me 20 minutes to type this stupid post out on my laptop for elves, so if I don’t get at least 20 comments, I will be Very Sad.  And Pissed Off that I spent this much time on a hobby that is almost barely rewarding and certainly doesn’t pay anything…